After “Fear Factor” pushed the envelope with events such as “pig rectum feasts”, and the first victim of “Joe Shmo”, show, in a fit of anger agreed to eat dog poop if it would make the producers happy, reality television sort of lost it’s, “What’s next” luster. Sure, I am addicted to the fake lives of real people put in ridiculous situations as much as the next girl, but there’s just something missing. That is, of course, unless the editors of AC have the clout in Hollywood to pull off the BEST reality show of all time.
I call my show, “Who Wants to Keep Their Spleen?”
Here’s how it works:
Each week following some sort of grueling competition that completely humiliates the intelligence and/or the physical prowess of the characters, one member of the cast is voted off and into the operating room, where surgeons will perform a live splenectomy. (Note: while the spleen is arguably an unnecessary organ, an appendectomy could serve the same purpose, but being a larger organ, the spleen would make for better television)
In addition to spleens, there could be additional competitions among the cast members, so that, for example, the losing side of a foot race through feces could be forced to donate a kidney, or part of a liver. (Hey it’s for a good cause… and after all, it will be great for television ratings).
You may think my idea barbaric, but it seems to me that there is no better cause in life than to entertain the masses, and to keep them from dwelling on their shattered lives. I have always wondered why it is that “God” gave us organs that we don’t really need, or why he doubled up on organs. Does a man really NEED two testicles? How about the ladies? How important is it that BOTH ovaries stay in tact. Don’t even get me started on lungs! Lots of people missing whole limbs, live very productive lives. Imagine laying next to your loved one and not worrying about where to put that arm that always seems to be in the way. I’m telling you… PURE HOLLYWOOD GOLD!
If done properly, the show will be a shining example of the skills that medical science has reached. The only way I can think to make the show better would be to add in the elements of Western medicine vs. Eastern medicine, or something to that effect. I can see it now. Spin a wheel to find out how or if you will remain awake or anesthetized during the surgery! Roll the dice to see if you will be given numbing medications or trained in the art of mind over matter, or if you just have to take a swig of Jack Daniels and bite down on a towel, while the surgeon removes one of your excess organs.
Reality television should be riveting. It should keep people glued to their television sets. What could be better than a show where the price of fame could be an unnecessary body part? The winner, of course, would leave the show “in tact”. Hell. We could even give them some money. After all, lot’s of people SAY that they would “give their right arm” to be rich. I say make them prove it. Of course, the most interesting characters could always come back for the “all star show”. Good times. How about it people? Are you ready for the best reality television show ever to grace the airwaves? For my money, that sure beats “Who wants to be a potato farmer” or some other silly idea. $100 competition my ass! I want ROYALTIES!
Moreover, you need apps like cyberflix that you can download on your mobile phones and enjoy these awesome reality shows for free. You can choose from thousands of TV shows to watch from with high speed and no ads. So get your popcorn ready and start binging TV shows you like.